n Las Vegas, you can bet on almost anything including who will win Super Bowl XLVII (47), even before the NFL draft next month. So what are the odds that the Cleveland Browns win it all next season? According to the Vegas line it’s not good. As of March 19th the Browns are 150-1 odds against the Browns winning the Super Bowl next season. Now there is essentially two ways of viewing this, and for the sake of argument, I will look at the glass half full. Here are five things less likely to happen than Cleveland winning it all.
#1. Odds of injury from fireworks: 19556-1
Yes we have all seen the videos on youtube. Someone has a brilliant idea after having a few too many. They decide to light the night sky with a brilliant fireworks light show. The only problem is alcohol impairs your ability to properly operate a lighter. Each year, approximately 10,000 people are injured by fireworks in the United States. So if you know anybody nick-named lefty, then you must like the Browns odds.
#2. Odds of catching a ball at a MLB baseball game: 563-1
This seems like a long-shot if you look at the odds (Especially considering everyone around me always seems to get one), but there is an average of 14 foul balls hit into the stands at each MLB baseball game. Multiply that by 2,430 games played in the MLB regular season and you end up with an average of 34,020 foul balls taken home by fans. And that’s not even counting balls hit into the stands that are home runs. So after examining the facts I am encouraged.
#3. Odds of being audited by the IRS: 175-1
We have all heard the horror stories from a friends, neighbors, or relatives. Everyone knows at least someone who was audited. On average the number of IRS tax audits conducted each year is about 1.5 million. Most IRS audits are due to mathematical errors, and some are due to non-deductible items. So in the future make sure you use a calculator. And if you were thinking of claiming that brand new plasma TV as a business expense think again.
#4. Odds of finding a four-leaf clover on your first try: 10,000-1
I found this one extremely shocking. But statistics say that for every four-leaf clover, there are 10,000 three-leaf clovers in a clover patch. When I was a kid growing up, I never had trouble finding one. And I really do not know of anyone who hasn’t found one before…… Well actually, I take that back. As it turns out I know of no one who has ever found one in Cleveland. I guess people there just aren’t very lucky.
#5. Odds of finding out your child is a Genius: 250-1
This particular one is also surprising to me. I knew from the get-go that my kids were not going to re-write the laws of physics, but every one of my friends who have kids SWEAR that their kids are the next Albert Einstein. If you don’t believe me, just ask some of your friends with kids. They will tell you how unbelievably brilliant their kids are.
So Browns Fans, if you are depressed about the odds going into the 2012 season don’t be. As you can see now there are things that happen every day that are even less likely to happen. If you have anything to add please let us know.
Michael W. Youngman
(Lead Analyst: C.B.R.)
http://www.clevelandbrownsreport.info/2012/03/las-vegas-says-that-cleveland-browns.html
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