By Jodie Valade, The Plain Dealer
BEREA, Ohio -- A year ago, Peyton Hillis wore cowboy boots and an aw-shucks grin whenever he spoke in a corner of the Browns' locker room.
He talked about wrestling hogs and pulling pick-up trucks for workouts back in his tiny Arkansas hometown. He endeared himself to Cleveland fans with his brash running style, and surprised opponents with his physical rushing performances. 
These days, the Madden NFL 12 cover boy has to face hordes of cameras and reporters to defend missed charity appearances, missed games with injury and illness, whether he'll sign a contract extension and whether he's still accepted by his own teammates.
Nothing is off-limits, as the 25-year-old Hillis even is asked about his abrupt midseason marriage on the team's off-day last week.
Hillis' announcement that he expects to play Sunday against the Houston Texans after participating in his first pain-free practice -- though limited -- since he strained his left hamstring three weeks ago earned only a handful of questions on Thursday. Instead, how the face of the Browns' franchise has been handling his newfound celebrity, and the missteps he's made as the Browns lost four of their first seven games was the bulk of the focus.
These days, Hillis speaks in the center of the locker room, where media crush around. He's still coming to grips with his cover-boy world.
"It's been a humbling experience," Hillis said. "It's been a whirlwind coming from where I was to where I'm at now. I'm trying to grasp the whole situation and trying to deal with it. It's still a learning process and I'm trying to do the best I can."
Hillis has learned the hard way that public perception is a difficult beast to control. He was criticized when he sat out a game with strep throat, complaints that were exacerbated when he later said he did so at the advice of his agent. Lurking all season has been his unsettled contract extension status, something he said he no longer wants to address with media.
His latest slip was a missed Halloween party Monday for the Cleveland Boys and Girls Club. Hillis apologized again Thursday for what he said was a "miscommunication" with his management, explaining that after finishing treatment for his hamstring injury at 4:30 p.m., he didn't know where he was supposed to be for the party an hour later.
"I didn't know how big a deal it was until the next day," Hillis said. "I feel terrible about that. I still say that's not any excuse. When there's kids involved, you should be there for them."
On other topics, Hillis tried to dispel any negative perceptions:
• On not playing Sunday in San Francisco: "Now that I look back at it, it was too soon, no doubt. I wanted to play and I wanted to get out there. ... I was really excited to go and I probably let my emotions get too high."
• On his marriage last week: "I've always been a guy on the down-low about things. I try to get things done that I want to get done. It was something I really wanted to get done."
• On his relationships inside the locker room: "Me and the teammates are great. There's never been a problem there from my point of view. ... Guys in the locker room, they understand a lot of situations. And other situations they probably don't understand, you talk about it with them, then they understand."
• On whether Browns fans still support him: "The fans have always been great to me. They're great fans. You owe them the world, you try to do the best you can for them, and that's what I've been trying to do lately."
Hillis said he likely pushed his injured hamstring too hard in practice last week when he was back for Wednesday before sitting again. Now, he said his strength and flexibility felt good after Thursday's practice. If it were Sunday, "I could go," he said.
"[But] I'm glad it's not Sunday," he added. "I'd rather have a couple more days to rest and get my mind right."
As controversy has followed him, the Browns' running game has struggled. They're 29th in the NFL with 87.6 yards per game, and last week lost Montario Hardesty to a torn calf muscle. Head coach Pat Shurmur said he's planning on using newly signed running back Thomas Clayton in Houston.
Shurmur, for one, doesn't think Hillis' absence the last two games and most of a third with the hamstring injury and his off-field drama has affected his relationship with teammates.
"The team wants all of the guys to be in there playing all the time," Shurmur said. "I think the team understands that as the season goes on, things happen. I don't see there being any problems between Peyton and his teammates."
But if there are problems with fans, it's something that does concern Hillis.
"I'm human. You get down on yourself when you let people down that care about you or you care about them," he said. "It's been an interesting process for me, but nothing I can't handle and nothing I'm not getting better from."
Because, he said, at the heart of everything is this: "I don't want to let nobody down. That's the last thing I want to do. I just want to go out there and do my best."
http://www.cleveland.com/browns/index.ssf/2011/11/cleveland_browns_peyton_hillis_8.html
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